I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
