Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
