chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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