Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
