you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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