All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
