I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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