Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize