That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
