K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
