You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
