took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
