So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If I had your ass I would rule the world
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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