Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
