my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
