I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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