You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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