we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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