Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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