absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
