she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize