Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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