I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
