Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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