dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
