Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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