No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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