her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
