Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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