Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this beer tastes like vomit already
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
