So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
