you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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