I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize