i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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