It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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