I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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