You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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