so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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