Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
