I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
