they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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