Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
