i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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