dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end