i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
