I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
