Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
