i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My pussy is not your playground.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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