i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
