its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
