i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
