u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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