i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
