i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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