I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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