He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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