you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
