Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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