I wish I could teleport
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
