if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do vagina's smell?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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